Politics, Religion and Sex, the three fo pau's in American conversation. Probably the top three that either should be discussed or would engage in what would, in my opinion, be a worthwhile discussion to have. All three topics create an instant judgement and place the other participant in a box.
I witnessed this in conversation I had just last night regarding Politics. If said person aligns with said party, instantly, they are categoarized in your mind and the mind of the others overhearing the conversation, they are put into a box, and any outside thinking is unthinkable! Instead of putting them into this box, as that would actually be you building the walls of your box, realize they may be in a box, but make them define their walls before your assume them. Very simular to looking in the mirror, by judging fellow patrons and putting them into a box you have effectively destroyed the potential of a decent conversation and placed yourself securely in your own box.
These three topics should be discussed with regularity, and until you know the other party in the discussion intimately, the proper approach should be respectful curiosity.
Building your opponents box is easy, ask questions, get answers, ask questions, repeat. You can test the playability of your opponents box by asking out of the box questions, answers will begin to become emotional, and a brick is laid in that person wall. Back off, reengage in simple questions you know lie within their box, and test again the integrity of their walls. Do not assume they have walls until they have built them for you. You will be amazed at the lack of integrity of not only your walls of your box but the walls of your opponents. Humans are decent, social people.
Bar none the most difficult thing is not to place the I told you so attitude when you prove the lack of integrity in their box. But instead, allow them the rope needed to hang an idea that lacks foresight. This takes an unbelievable amount of patience, however, through the process you too will begin to erode the walls you have built, not only for your opponents but yourself as well.
Thinking outside the box is important, but just as important is realising that the boxes have purposes and are there for a reason. Find your comfort zone and begin eroding the barriers by forcing your discussion on the other side of that wall.
I witnessed this in conversation I had just last night regarding Politics. If said person aligns with said party, instantly, they are categoarized in your mind and the mind of the others overhearing the conversation, they are put into a box, and any outside thinking is unthinkable! Instead of putting them into this box, as that would actually be you building the walls of your box, realize they may be in a box, but make them define their walls before your assume them. Very simular to looking in the mirror, by judging fellow patrons and putting them into a box you have effectively destroyed the potential of a decent conversation and placed yourself securely in your own box.
These three topics should be discussed with regularity, and until you know the other party in the discussion intimately, the proper approach should be respectful curiosity.
Building your opponents box is easy, ask questions, get answers, ask questions, repeat. You can test the playability of your opponents box by asking out of the box questions, answers will begin to become emotional, and a brick is laid in that person wall. Back off, reengage in simple questions you know lie within their box, and test again the integrity of their walls. Do not assume they have walls until they have built them for you. You will be amazed at the lack of integrity of not only your walls of your box but the walls of your opponents. Humans are decent, social people.
Bar none the most difficult thing is not to place the I told you so attitude when you prove the lack of integrity in their box. But instead, allow them the rope needed to hang an idea that lacks foresight. This takes an unbelievable amount of patience, however, through the process you too will begin to erode the walls you have built, not only for your opponents but yourself as well.
Thinking outside the box is important, but just as important is realising that the boxes have purposes and are there for a reason. Find your comfort zone and begin eroding the barriers by forcing your discussion on the other side of that wall.
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