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Look in the mirror, an Ironman lesson.

Ironman – Swim Straight

 Don’t be such a damn fool! Look in the Mirror! Have you ever heard this before? I certainly have, and I consider the comment to be abusive abrasive and simply rude, thus I brush it off and think to myself, what a F@#k that guy is!

 Then all of a sudden I am in line to start the swim of an Ironman, my first Ironman event. I’m a hell of a swimmer; I know that I am, and, therefore, I was going to line up with the 1hr 20-minute group, I knew this the night before, weeks before. Now here I sit with the 1:20’s and my courage gets the best of me, and I line up with the 1:15’s. There are not a hell of a lot of people in front of me, and there is a hell of a lot of people behind me! Who do I think I am?! The gun goes off, and we are off, swimming away, in tight formation thus a few elbows, knees, feet, heads all hitting grinding and overall chaos. After the first about 100 yards, people begin to space. What the hell, why do I keep hitting people's heels, they are in the 1:15’s, you should be faster than me NOT slower! Well, I’ll go around you, and you, and you, ah finally no one to catch up just people to my sides. WHACK, bastard hit me, keep swimming 1 minute, BAM another douche just nailed me, keep swimming SMACK, another minute. What the hell, why can’t anyone swim straight, repeating getting hit on the side with elbows hands shoulders, continues for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, what is wrong with these people?!

 Alright, I’m going to head up swim to the outer edge and get away from the squirmy athletes! 3 minutes WHACK! GODDAMNIT! Look around who is it learn how to swim! Then I notice that they hit me on their exit stroke, thus, I T-boned em’ … WOA!!! Ok time for some deep thoughts … is it me? … is everyone else swimming straight? … Say it ain’t so! … Ok see a boat and swim right for it, seven strokes later look up, the boat is nowhere to be seen, and I am about to crash into yet another straight swimming athlete! Well EFF me sideways I’m a F#$k.

 I had a 25 degree if not a 30-degree margin of error. When I finally realized how much of an ass I had been for the first few hundred yards, I swam a good 75 yards off course and did the widest loop possible. In an attempt to not screw with anyone else’s swim, while my swim still looked like a mountain pass road, at least, I wasn’t crashing into anyone. I had a good chuckle when it was all said and done, and I was alone having the life boats continue to try to get me to swim toward the finish line rather than out to water!

 I was able to reflect on this after the fact and for the first time I understood the concept of looking in the mirror. Now when someone says that to me, I’ll take a minute, am I the one that can’t swim straight?

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