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Under Trained and Scared Shitless (Pre-IRONMAN)

I have now been up for about 4 hours, researching races/events that I could sign up for to force me to "train" more. However, I am just now realizing that what I am doing is trying to find events that I am confident I can finish and feel good about to try mentally to prepare for this Aug 2nd adventure!

Let's go back about four days ... Woke up early to head downtown Seattle to run the Rock and Roll Marathon. I am more than 20lbs lighter than I was for my first Marathon in Denver; this was to be at sea level, to say I was interested to see the results was an understatement. I have been training my body to use its fat supplies as energy instead of needing to fuel mid-exercise, this was to be that test!

Started the race low and slow, and as always, right off the bat I needed to take a huge shit, so mile 2 or maybe 3 I waited in line and took a load off. Back on the road and running, first 10K down and feeling pretty good. I wanted the next 10K to be a good one; I wanted to see what my time was for the half when I was "running well." Finished the half feeling not too shabby.

The kicker, however, the entire time starting at about 7 miles all that was going through my mind was: I'll take a nice walk after the first half, then continue the rest. TOXIC!!! While I was never feeling great, (I fucking hate running) I didn't crash, my hips would hurt, I remember my knee hurt at one point for a short spell, but the hips were the daunting pain. (Which by the way I found out truly your body can only interpret one pain source at a time. I will go into my philosophies about that in another post) Never however was I incapable of running, I simply quit running.

Frustrating, yeah maybe a little! The mental battles began at mile 15 and got steadily worse until 17. When the 440's came up behind me, and I ran with them for about a half mile, I proved to myself that I was physically able to continue running, simply a mental pussy, that hated running! While my time ended up being 15 minutes faster than my first, my physical condition was significantly better, but my mental condition was/is in the dumps. Upon finishing, I didn't want to sit I didn't want to do anything but get back to the house to DONE! I didn't enjoy the race; I felt beat, and I was meant to be doing this same distance AFTER swimming 2.4 miles and an 112-mile bike ride. The marathon beat me, how is it possible I can beat an Ironman?!

After I got back to the house, had a beer, I was able to reflect for a moment. Hey, at least, my ankles don't hurt! I did have massive blisters, but my ankles didn't hurt! It was at approximately this moment after stretching for a quick moment that my hip pressure and pain resided to show me that my ankles did indeed hurt, and as a matter of fact were swelling before my eyes! Sweet! So now not only and I mentally beat, but I did end up physically beat, how can I possibly finish this Ironman if I fail both physically and mentally on just the run part.

This, my friends, is where I sit today, I keep working on telling myself that I have indeed turned my body into a fat energy consumer, (granted my belly doesn't prove it) as I didn't "crash" from energy. This is a token that I am going to be using as a carrot for the next six weeks as I try to put myself into mentally challenging situations and forcing myself to the brink of breaking so that I can improve my mental toughness. Although today, again, I failed mentally and physically as I did a training session in the pool. I was feeling great, even began to increase my speed after the first 1000m then came the foot cramps. I stretched twice and gave up. I need to research if this was a good idea or not, my assumption at the time, which I am still sticking to is that my body lacks salt, and electrolytes. My hope is to pound a few bananas tomorrow, and take a salt pill before my next swimming session. Wish me luck!

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